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Rommel: Gentlemen, did you read this?
Staffer 2: Jawohl, Generalfeldmarschall! An excellent report about your glorious recapture of Tobruk!
Staffer 3: Respect!
Rommel: Yes, but my name isn’t mentioned anywhere! Here, eh, blah blah blah blah, „the 21. Panzerdivision successfully recaptured Tobruk“. No word about me!
Staffer 1: I think you need a nickname, General! A name that will be remembered even in – say 2018.
Rommel: Good Idea! Suggestions!
Staffer 2: How about „Rommel the Sandworm“?
Rommel: Worm? Why Worm?
Staffer 2: Well, because you manged to … crawl up on the enemy unnoticed.
Rommel: I don’t crawl in the face of the enemy!
Staffer 2: Of course!
Rommel: Other suggestions!
Staffer 3: How about „Erwin the Meerkat“? Meerkats are very clever … and watchful … and super cute! (noticing Rommel’s glance) Okay, better not.
Rommel: And my first name is taboo!
Staffer 1: „Rommel the Panzerfaust“!
Rommel: Good … better! But I miss any reference to North Africa. I mean, this is my unique feature, isn’t it?
Staffer 2: How about „Rommel, the Terror of the Pyramides“? This is definitely including North Africa.
Rommel: Yes, but it’s also definitely including „You’ve lost your marbles“! No! Go on!
Staffer 3: How about „Rommel the unfair slavedriver“? (noticing Rommel’s glance) Eh … I thought, as a historical reference to the Pharaohs. Considering how you’re treating the men at times …
Rommel: Pull yourself together, Soldier!
Staffer 3: Jawohl, Herr General!
Staffer 1: I believe I got it! „Rommel the Platypus“! These are very interesting creatures. Egg-laying mammals – and what but a few people know: they even have a little spur that delivers a venom.
Rommel: Mhm! And platypuses are living in Africa?
Staffer 1: (reflecting) No! But I guess this is still better than „Rommel, the Terror of the Pyramides“.
Rommel: Yes, anything is better than „Rommel, the Terror of the Pyramides“! My God, there must still be some animal from Africa that represents courage, determination and strength.
Staffer 2: „Rommel the Sand Unicorn“! You know, my daughter … but no, this probably isn’t the right choice either.
Rommel: But sand sounds good, sand sounds good.
Staffer 1: „Rommel the Sandworm“!
Rommel: (in unison with Staffer 3) We already had this!
Staffer 1: Excuse me!
Staffer 3: Sandglass! „Rommel the Sandglass“!
Rommel: An animal! We are looking for an animal! Maybe sand isn’t that good after all.
Staffer 3: Gravel?
Staffer 1: Meadow!
Rommel: Desert! Desert sounds fine!
Staffer 1: (whispering) I didn’t say that!
Rommel: Desert … Desert …
Staffer 3: Desert Willie! „Rommel the Desert Willie!“ This is really catchy.
Rommel: Soldier! Another proposal of this kind, and I will have you executed!
Staffer 3: You’re right! Excuse me, Generalfeldmarschall!
Rommel: (uttering an inarticulate groan) Lion! Desert Lion! „Rommel the Desert Lion“!
Staffer 1: That’s it!
Staffer 3: Of course!
Staffer 1: Majestic!
Rommel: „Rommel the Desert Lion“! Gentlemen, we got it! (laughs)
Staffer 3: Brilliant! You’re a fox, Generalfeldmarschall! A real desert fox! Congratulations!
Staffer 2: I must have drawn a mental blank.
Staffer 1: Bravo, Herr General!
Staffer 2: A perfect match!