Jokes in ww2?

[Landsturm]

Not exactly a joke, but quote from the official war diary of a Finnish Machinegun Company (2.KKK/JR 29) from the weeks before the Winter War started:

"Su 5.11.1939 Kirjuri puristeli finnejä naamastaan. Muuten normaali palvelus."
"Sunday 5th Nov 1939 The (Company) clerk squeezing zits from his face. Otherwise normal service."

[Yoozername]

I haven't read whole thread...so sorry if this was told before...

Japanese and Marines were facing each other in foxhole lines...they were trading insults...

Japs: Woosevelt is a clipple!

Jarheads: Tojo is a dwarf!

Japs: Macarthur sucks on pipes!

Jarheads: HIROHITO WEARS DRESSES!

Japs: ERENOR WOOSEVELT IS A UGREE RESBIAN!

Jarheads: YA DAMN RIGHT SHE IS!!!

[PF]

heard a varation of person saving his life in regard to the glass eye...read about this one years ago ...
also read the following....
Hitler goes to a fortune teller about his future
Fortune teller: alas my fuhrer you will die on Jewish Holiday
Hiter: What Holiday is that?
Fortune teller: any day you die is a jewish holiday

Heard this one about Mussolini/Italian army:
Three Italian commands:
Ready
Aim
Surrender!

[randwick]

.
a French resistant was acting as a waiter to overhear German officers ,
he was supposed not to understand German
he nearly got caught by laughing when one of the officer read aloud an article in "signal" about an Italian mountain company

"....having surrendered to the British in spite of the ferocious defensive fighting of their mules "

[LColombo]

A couple of jokes by Italian civilians on the anti-aircraft artillery militia (DIfesa ContrAerea Territoriale, DICAT, that is Territorial Anti-Aircraft Defense)...

In Turin, early in the war (when bombing raids were still rather light, and caused little damage), since the shell splinters falling down after the fire often caused damage to civilian property and even casualties, the DICAT acronym was ironically interpreted as "Distruzione Integrale Case Torino" ("Complete Destruction [of] Turin Homes").

The DICAT batteries in Rome, not very successfull in shooting down planes, came to be nicknamed "Tosca", after Puccini's opera and charachter, because said character states during the play that she has "never hurt a living soul".

[ColinWright]

Anecdote rather than joke, but...

In Operation Market Garden, a group from the British First Airborne managed to reach the north end of Arnhem bridge and establish themselves in some houses there but were subsequently cut off. Naturally, the Germans needed to regain control of the bridge and began to assault the British position furiously. After some time, the British had been reduced to a small party holding one house. The Germans sent forward a messenger under a white flag with a note suggesting surrender.

Colonel Frost responded politely, expressing thanks for the offer but explaining that he couldn't possibly accommodate so many prisoners.

[Max]

Anecdote rather than joke, but...

In Operation Market Garden, a group from the British First Airborne managed to reach the north end of Arnhem bridge and establish themselves in some houses there but were subsequently cut off. Naturally, the Germans needed to regain control of the bridge and began to assault the British position furiously. After some time, the British had been reduced to a small party holding one house. The Germans sent forward a messenger under a white flag with a note suggesting surrender.

Colonel Frost responded politely, expressing thanks for the offer but explaining that he couldn't possibly accommodate so many prisoners.

Good one
Don't you wish it were true?

[von thoma]

Disturbing.
Nothing good can be expected from a German; When they give thanks, they say "TANKE".......

[ColinWright]

Disturbing.
Nothing good can be expected from a German; When they give thanks, they say "TANKE".......

Tanks for the memories.

[ColinWright]

Good one
Don't you wish it were true?

Sigh. Do you mean this one isn't a true story either?

[Max]

Good one
Don't you wish it were true?

Sigh. Do you mean this one isn't a true story either?

Gough did not join these men but stayed with the 2nd Battalion in their positions; the medical officers and their orderlies became prisoners. The 280 wounded, including some German prisoners, were taken with Dutch civilians who had been sheltering in the building, and most of the wounded eventually reached St. Eizabeth Hospital.
It was now after nightfall, but the blazing buildings made the scene as light as day. A German officer wandered around the 2nd Battalion’s slit trenches handing out cigarettes and telling the Britons they did not stand a chance and should surrender. The British answered him with rude remarks.

Colin.
In the hope that the joke just might be true I went looking and came across this - pretty dramatic- no joke.
http://warfarehistorynetwork.com/daily/ ... ins-alamo/
Cheers