Jokes in the Third Reich

Discussions on every day life in the Weimar Republic, pre-anschluss Austria, Third Reich and the occupied territories. Hosted by Vikki.
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John H.
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Post by John H. » 22 Nov 2003 00:38

heres one i forgot but i remember a little bit: (i think i got the colors wrong)


when you see a green plane its an american
when you see a brown plane its british
when you see no planes its the luftwaffe

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Helly Angel
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Post by Helly Angel » 22 Nov 2003 04:38

Hello,

I have a few originals jokes of the III Reich but... in spanish because is in a enciclopedya, Can someone translate this?

I will put in spanish:

Dios guarde...

En la casa de un judío berlinés se efectúa un registro domiciliario. La Gestapo encuentra un Libro Mayor y espera descubrir la huella que delante las ganancias de sus especulaciones. Cuando abren el Libro ven escrito en la primera pagina: "Dios guarde a Adolf Hitler". En la segunda pagina: "Dios guarde al Doctor Goebbels". Los funcionarios devuelven el libro amigablemente convencidos de la lealtad del hombre. "¡Dios mio! Gracias al Cielo que no han seguido!" dice el judío a su mujer. le enseña la tercera pagina que dice: "Dios guarde a Ernst Röhm" y más abajo dice: Ya guardado el 30 de junio de 1934".


Misión Diplomática

En el año 1935 Hitler envía a Von Papen hacia Roma con la misión de ganar al Papa hacia el nacionalsocialismo. El gran diplomático vuelve sin haber logrado nada. Hitler encarga lo mismo a Goebbels, pero éste tampoco logra más que un pequeño donativo para la NSV. Luego encarga a Goering esta importante misión. Y he aqui que a los tres días Hitler recibe el siguiente telegrama: "Misión cumplida. Papa muerto. Vaticano en llamas. Tiara me queda bien. Tu Santo Padre".


De la cuna a la sepultura

La gigantesca organización del NSDAP se amplia cada vez más. Después de la SA y la SS se encuadró a la Juventud en la HJ, a los adolescentes en el Jungvolk, los niños pequeños en guarderías nacionalsocialistas y ahora organizarán a los lactantes. llevarán el titulo de "Hombres AA".



Vida familiar

- Mi padre es dela SA, mi hermano mayor de las SS, mi hermano pequeño de la HJ, mi Mama es de la NS-Frauenschaft y yo de la BDM.

- Pero con tanta actividad se ven alguna vez?

- Oh si claro, nos reunimos una vez al año en el Congreso del Partido en Nuremberg!


El ganso aleman de navidad

¿Como ha de ser? Gordo como Goering, graznando como Goebbels, pardo como el partido y desplumado como el pueblo alemán.

Navidad 1943

Transcurrió según el siguiente programa: los britanicos pusieron el arbol de navidad, la artilleria antiaerea puso las bolas de adorno, Goebbels contaba cuentos y nosotros estabamos en los refugios esperando la sorpresa de los aguinaldos.


best,

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Grand Admiral
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Post by Grand Admiral » 22 Nov 2003 06:25

Vida familiar

- Mi padre es dela SA, mi hermano mayor de las SS, mi hermano pequeño de la HJ, mi Mama es de la NS-Frauenschaft y yo de la BDM.

- Pero con tanta actividad se ven alguna vez?

- Oh si claro, nos reunimos una vez al año en el Congreso del Partido en Nuremberg!


Um...estoy tratando a traducirlo...

-My father belongs to the SA, my older brother to the SS, my smaller brother to the HJ, mother belongs to the NS-Frauenscaft and I belong to the BDM.

-But with so much activity [how?] do you see each other?

-Oh of course, we meet once a year at the party congress in Nuremberg!

:lol: Nice one.

Karl da Kraut
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Post by Karl da Kraut » 22 Nov 2003 17:09

What is the official salute of the Party: Heil Hitler!
What is the official salute of the SS: Sieg Heil!
What is the official salute of the SA: Happy Afternoon!

[Additionally to the original English meaning "After" means "anus" in German.]

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RACPISA
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nazi jokes

Post by RACPISA » 22 Nov 2003 17:55

What about the joke where the Aryan ideal is "tall like Goebbles, thin like Goering, and blonde like Hitler"? Was that from the Nazi era?

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Nina van M.
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Post by Nina van M. » 22 Nov 2003 19:14

How come there is no joke about Joachim von Ribbentrop posted here so far... he was a "funny" guy even though he didn't wanted to be :lol:

As far as I know- amongst the nazis was Hermann Göring known as the biggest grumbler and joker, wasn't he?

Keep on laughing :D , von Kluge

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Grand Admiral
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Post by Grand Admiral » 22 Nov 2003 19:32

Göbbels on Göring:

"Why can't that fatso put down his caviar? He makes me sick!"

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vogelbird
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Third Reich Jokes

Post by vogelbird » 22 Nov 2003 21:02

Heres a real period piece: Two Germans speaking in a whisper. "have you heard that dentists are learning to extract teeth via the earholes?"
"Via the earholes? No, why ever?"
"Because these days people are too afraid to open their mouths!"
Regards Vogelbird :D

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Helly Angel
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Re: nazi jokes

Post by Helly Angel » 22 Nov 2003 21:13

RACPISA wrote:What about the joke where the Aryan ideal is "tall like Goebbles, thin like Goering, and blonde like Hitler"? Was that from the Nazi era?


Yes is an original joke for the Nazi era, but incluid "Man like Röhm"

Greetings,

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agibaer
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Post by agibaer » 23 Nov 2003 03:02

caesar in france:
veni, vidi, vici...

hitler in france:
veni, vidi, vichy...

another for the french:
NSDAP=nous somme des allemands provisoires

And to Herr von Kluge: THere's just one Ribbentropwitz in my book and it's oneandahalf pages long so i can't really translate it..but theres much von Papen...

1935 Hitler sends von Papen to the Vatican to bring the holy father on germanys side. He fails. Even Goebbels is not succesful, he returns home just with a little gift for the NSV. Then Hitler sends Goering. Three days later he receives a telegaph from Goering stating: "Mission fulfilled: The popes dead, the Vaticans burning, best wishes, your holy father!"

Manstein
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Re:

Post by Manstein » 23 Nov 2003 03:59

What about the joke where the Aryan ideal is "tall like Goebbles, thin like Goering, and blonde like Hitler"? Was that from the Nazi era?


I think that was from a cartoon, and Hitler says: "An ideal Aryan is...tall like Goebbels, thin like Goering, blonde like Hess, and courageous like me."

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Max
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Post by Max » 23 Nov 2003 07:50

Helly Angel wrote:


En el año 1935 Hitler envía a Von Papen hacia Roma con la misión de ganar al Papa hacia el nacionalsocialismo. El gran diplomático vuelve sin haber logrado nada. Hitler encarga lo mismo a Goebbels, pero éste tampoco logra más que un pequeño donativo para la NSV. Luego encarga a Goering esta importante misión. Y he aqui que a los tres días Hitler recibe el siguiente telegrama: "Misión cumplida. Papa muerto. Vaticano en llamas. Tiara me queda bien. Tu Santo Padre".



agibaer wrote:
1935 Hitler sends von Papen to the Vatican to bring the holy father on germanys side. He fails. Even Goebbels is not succesful, he returns home just with a little gift for the NSV. Then Hitler sends Goering. Three days later he receives a telegaph from Goering stating: "Mission fulfilled: The popes dead, the Vaticans burning, best wishes, your holy father!"


SNAP!!!!!
Max :)

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Max
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Post by Max » 23 Nov 2003 08:12

caesar in france:
veni, vidi, vici...

hitler in france:
veni, vidi, vichy...


Röhm in the Bratwurstglockl:
veni, vidi, veni...

Max

PS
Researchers please note;
The Röhm joke is not contemporary TR

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AHLF
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Post by AHLF » 23 Nov 2003 17:42

Some jokes from another thread :wink: :

Adjutant: "Herr general, the italians decided to start a war"
German general(thoughtfully): "Hmm... order to send 2 divisions to the italian border."
Adjutant: "No, you got me wrong, they are on our side."
General:" Damn, order to send 10 divisions to the italian border..."

Why are there so many tree lined streets and leafy lanes in France?
Germans like to march in the shade.

Belgium's national motto:
Belgium: Gateway to France!

How do you make a German chocolate cake?
First, you occupy der kitchen.

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Helly Angel
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Post by Helly Angel » 23 Nov 2003 20:59

this joke:

How is the ideal german?
- blond like Hitler, higher like Goebbels, slender like Goering and caste like Röhm!

Is contemporany of the III Reich.

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