Jokes in the Third Reich

Discussions on every day life in the Weimar Republic, pre-anschluss Austria, Third Reich and the occupied territories. Hosted by Vikki.
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Sewer King
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Re: Jokes in the Third Reich

Post by Sewer King » 16 Apr 2011 15:41

I have the impression that political jokes were told in Nazi Germany similar to those in the old Soviet Union: with a kind of look over the shoulder.
  • from the old book Hans Peter Bleuel Sex and Society in Nazi Germany (J.B. Lippencott, 1973), page 47; original German: Das Saubere Reich, (Scherz Verlag Bern und München, 1971) and translated by J. Maxwell Brownjohn)
[Covert comment about Hitler's distance from women] eventually broke surface in the form of a popular lampoon:
  • He who rules in the Russian manner,
    dresses his hair in the French style,
    trims his mustache in the English fashion,
    and wasn't born in Germany himself,
    who teaches us the Roman salute,
    asks our wives for lots of children,
    but can't produce any himself,
    he is the leader of Germany.
(The shorthand typist Else W., who had entertained her office colleagues by reciting this piece of doggerel, was in 1943 charged under the Heimtückegesetz, or law of malicious denigration, and sentenced to two years' imprisonment by a special tribunal at Frankfurt. The public prosecutor had asked for twelve months.)
The author sourced this from Boberach, Heinz: Meldungen aus dem Reich (Munich, 1968), page 141, adding in endnotes (page 252n):
Similar jokes had been in circulation for years. Kurt Hirsche [Die 'braune' and die 'rote' Witz (Düsseldorf / Wien, 1964) date its immediate precursor in 1937:
  • He who rules like a barbarian
    and imitates Napoleon,
    was born in Austria,
    trims his whiskers English-fashion,
    salutes like an Italian,
    makes German girls have children
    but can't produce any himself --
    there's a German for you!
Or again: Hitler and Mussolini bathing, one in swim trunks and the other naked. Adolf wants to conceal the last unemployed member of the German national community, Benito to look down on the last Italian rebel.
====================================
Witch-King of Angmar wrote:
Roderick wrote:From the British press in 1936: An aryan is tall like Goebbels, slim like Göring, blonde like Hess and heroic like Hitler. :)
A true Aryan was: blond like Hitler, tall like Goebbels, slim like Göring, blue-eyed as Hess, clever as Eva Braun, and his name was Rosenberg. Alfred Rosenberg :)
Besides the many variants of the above cited earlier, there was this one (Breuel, page 142, 257n; cf. Hirsche:)
... Malicious gossip and rumours [about senior officials' failings] spread like wildfire, as witness these 'Mottoes of a True German':
  • Be prolific like Hitler,
    simple and unostentatious like Göring,
    loyal like Hess,
    silent like Goebbels,
    sober like Ley,
    and beautiful like Scholtz-Klink!
This variant would seem to date after 1941 for its mention of Hess, although accuracy of the quote can't be told from here.

-- Alan

murx
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Re: Jokes in the Third Reich

Post by murx » 09 Jun 2011 04:05

Original contempoary joke: Führer and his chauffeur on their route through the Berchtesgadener Land. Suddenly a pig runs in front of the car; is hit and dies. The chauffeur says to Hitler: " I have to go into the house and have to inform the owner" ; He doesn't come back for an hour and then suddenly appears heavily drunken with a basket full of presents in his hands. The Führer asks him; what happened. The chauffeur replies: "I really don't know. I just entered the room and said: "Heil Hitler, the swine is dead!"

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Re: Jokes in the Third Reich

Post by murx » 09 Jun 2011 04:19

Karl Valentin (Hitler even liked his humour), a Bavarian humorist and film maker; who didn't become famous because even 99% of the Germans couldn't understand his accent, used to go on stage saying: "Heil....Heil...Heil...wie heisst der gleich wieder?(Heil...Heil..Heil...what the hell was his name?)"

He also said: Thank god his last name is not "Kräuter".
(Heilkräuter = medicinal herbs)

In Berlin a comedian had some pigs on a lash on stage. One pig was wearing a white scarf. He introduced them: "This is the family named "Mann". Here are the kids of the family Mann, here is Frau Mann and here we have (pointing at the one with the scarf) Herr Mann".

murx
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Re: Jokes in the Third Reich

Post by murx » 09 Jun 2011 04:24

In Munich a kids rime was: "Lieber Gott mach mich stumm dass ich nicht nach Dachau kumm!" (My Lord, make me mute; for that I don't come to Dachau).

Hitler, Stalin and the old Pope discuss in heaven, who was the most important leader. Stalin said: "I ruled over the biggest of all countries". The Pope said: "My orders came directly from god ". Hitler said: ""What did I order?".

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Hundi
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Re: nazi jokes

Post by Hundi » 28 Jun 2011 08:54

RACPISA wrote:What about the joke where the Aryan ideal is "tall like Goebbels, thin like Göring, and blonde like Hitler"? Was that from the Nazi era?
I read a joke like that long time ago, I don't remember where... goes like this:

the nazis were so twisted that they believe the sun was Aryan.... because:

the sun 'skin' is light.... works almost 12 hours when it's possible... and it's Uber Alles...

well is funny :P

Regards.

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jleeimpact
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Re: Jokes in the Third Reich

Post by jleeimpact » 30 Jun 2011 11:06

While this isn't historically accurate ;) it is worth showing I think;



"Gentlemen, I think we've just won ourselves a war" :D
Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil. - Jerry Garcia

murx
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Re: Jokes in the Third Reich

Post by murx » 09 Jul 2011 15:55

This is a true story: When a new balcony was installed in the Reichskanzlei it was proposed to let 2O strong SS-guards stand on it to test if it can hold the load. Hitler said: "Not necessary, I see Göring just testing it with all his tinsel on, that MUST hold us."

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pacifritz
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Re: Jokes in the Third Reich

Post by pacifritz » 09 Jul 2011 16:23

I once seen a cartoon published the same week as Hitler's death.

Hitler was not seen in the drawing, which depicted a particularly brutal Dante's Inferno-like scenario.


Minion to Satan:

'Hitler's just arrived------he wants to remodel the place on Belsen.''.

[or perhaps the cartoon was published the week of Belsen's Liberation].


Just last week, I read this allegedly true account from the bunker:


Hitler, [stern-faced, to his secretary, just about to retire for his last-ever forty winks before April 30 1945};



'Waken me up only if a Russian tank is pointed at my head'.

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Panzerkampfwagen
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Re: Jokes in the Third Reich

Post by Panzerkampfwagen » 18 Jul 2011 10:33

I read this in Traudl Junge's memoirs: Before she gets married to Hans Junge, she has to fill in some forms since she is to marry a man of the SS -

Q: Is the bride positively addicted to house work? ????

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jleeimpact
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Re: Jokes in the Third Reich

Post by jleeimpact » 18 Jul 2011 11:24

Sewer King wrote:
[Covert comment about Hitler's distance from women] eventually broke surface in the form of a popular lampoon:
  • He who rules in the Russian manner,
    dresses his hair in the French style,
    trims his mustache in the English fashion,
    and wasn't born in Germany himself,
    who teaches us the Roman salute,
    asks our wives for lots of children,
    but can't produce any himself,
    he is the leader of Germany.
Similar jokes had been in circulation for years. Kurt Hirsche [Die 'braune' and die 'rote' Witz (Düsseldorf / Wien, 1964) date its immediate precursor in 1937:
  • He who rules like a barbarian
    and imitates Napoleon,
    was born in Austria,
    trims his whiskers English-fashion,
    salutes like an Italian,
    makes German girls have children
    but can't produce any himself --
    there's a German for you!
Or again: Hitler and Mussolini bathing, one in swim trunks and the other naked. Adolf wants to conceal the last unemployed member of the German national community, Benito to look down on the last Italian rebel.
These two are brilliant. Particulaly the first though!!
Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil. - Jerry Garcia

SusanFern
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Re: Jokes in the Third Reich

Post by SusanFern » 22 Sep 2011 02:25

There were two jokes my mother told, not sure if they were imported from Germany, or home-grown in the Bronx:

One referred to Hitler's customary pose with his hands clenched at his crotch: "Er schuetzt en Arbeitsloeser." (He's protecting one who's unemployed.)

the other regards the Nazi landlord who wouldn't remove his Jewish tenant's trash until the tenant gave the Heil Hitler salute. The garbage piles up until the tenant gestures over his head and says, "So hoch liegt der Dreck!" (The filth is this deep) "Jezt komm' ich," (now I'll come) says the landlord.

uhu
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Re: Jokes in the Third Reich

Post by uhu » 23 Sep 2011 01:48

The assembly line worker in the baby carriage factory in 1934? His wife was expecting her first child and asked the husband to steal a baby carriage and sneak it home with a pilfered part every night. He put all the parts in the celler and the last night went down to assemble it for his wife. After one hour he comes up empty handed and to his wife's question as to why no baby carriage he answers, "I've assembled it twenty times and each time it comes out a
machine gun!

uhu
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Re: Jokes in the Third Reich

Post by uhu » 23 Sep 2011 01:52

And.......the old DAK joke, "A German with a frying pan is worth five Italians in a tank.

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Panzerkampfwagen
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Re: Jokes in the Third Reich

Post by Panzerkampfwagen » 14 Nov 2011 10:29

This happens during a military discussion about the evacuation of the German Panzer units from sicily to mainland Italy..

Göring - But General Guderian, you see that the Tigers cannot get back to the Italian main land , since they cannot swim.

Guderian ( irritated) - If only you had won air superiority over the straits of Messina, the Tigers could come back the same way as they went to Sicily.

Der Max
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Re: Jokes in the Third Reich

Post by Der Max » 16 Nov 2011 22:54

I have seen a clip of when Hitler speaks to the workers of a Siemens factory and he says: I know some of you do not like me for forbidding the communist party, but I don't think you should be angry about, I have forbidden all the other parties as well.

Reminded me of something Berlusconi would say!

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