Eva Braun Diary (Partial)

Discussions on the role played by and situation of women in the Third Reich not covered in the other sections. Hosted by Vikki.
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Helly Angel
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Eva Braun Diary (Partial)

Post by Helly Angel » 08 Jan 2004 04:06

February, 1935

Today is probably the right day for inaugurating this masterpiece.

I have happily reached the age of 23, though whether I'm happy is another question. Right now I'm anything but. And I'm making much too much of this occasion. If only I had a puppy, then I wouldn't be so lonely. But no doubt that is asking too much. Frau Schaub came as an emissary with flowers and a telegram.

My whole office looks like a florist's and smells like a harvest festival. I am really being ungrateful. But I was so set on a dachshund and now nothing's come of it again. Next year perhaps. Or later still, then it will be just the thing for a near old maid. But I must not give up hope. I ought to have learned patience by now.

I bought 2 lottery tickets today for I was certain that it was now or never -- it turned out to be never.

I shall never be rich, and that is a fact. Else I would have taken Herta, Gretel, Ilse and Mummy to the Zugspitze this very day and we'd have had a really marvellous time, for there is no fun like having fun together. But it's all no go.

Tonight I am having dinner with Herta. What else can a young spinster of 23 do? And so I shall end my birthday with a real blow-out. I am sure that that is just what he would have wanted.


11 February, 1935

He has just been. But no little doggie and no clothes. He didn't even bother to ask me what I wanted for my birthday. I have had to buy my own trinkets. 1 chain, earrings and a ring for 50 marks.

Everything looks very pretty. Let's hope he likes it. If he doesn't he can go and get me something else.



15 February, 1935

Berlin seems to be on the cards at last. But until I'm in the Chancellery I shan't believe it. Let's hope it's going to be fun.

Pity that Herta isn't coming along instead of Charly. She would be my guarantee for a few happy days. Instead we shall probably have a great big glum get-together, for I don't think Bruckner will go out of his way to show his polite side to Charly.

I am afraid to let myself feel really happy, but it would be wonderful if everything came up trumps. Here's hoping!



18 February, 1935

Yesterday he turned up quite unexpectedly and we had a delightful evening.

The best thing was that he is thinking of getting me out of the shop and ..... but I'd rather not count my chickens -- buying me a small house as a present. I simply dare not think of how absolutely wonderful it would be. I would no longer have to open the door for our honourable customers and play the shop-girl. Dear God, grant that it really is true and that it really happens soon.

Poor Charly is sick and can't come along to Berlin. She really does have bad luck. But perhaps it is better this way. Br might be horribly rude to her and then she'd be bound to get even more depressed.

I am so terribly glad that he loves me so much and pray it will always be like that. I don't want it to be my fault if he stops loving me one day.



4 March, 1935

I am desperately unhappy again, and as I can't write to him I have to put my lamentations down in this book.

He turned up on Saturday. Saturday was Munich Ball night. Frau Schwarz had given me a box ticket, so I simply had to show up since I'd already said I would.

I spent a few wonderful hours with him until midnight and, with his permission, went on to the Ball for two hours.

He promised to see me on Sunday. But though I rang the Osteria and asked Werlin to tell him that I was waiting for news, he simply drove on to Feldafing and even refused Hoffmann's invitation to coffee and dinner. But then there are 2 sides to every question. Perhaps he wanted to be alone with Dr. G. who has just come over, but he might have let me know. I felt as if I was sitting on hot coals at the Hoffmanns' and kept thinking he would arrive at any moment.

And then we had to go to the station, because he had suddenly decided to take a train, and all we could see was the tail lights. Hoffmann had once again left things until the last moment and so I could not even say goodbye. Perhaps I am painting things blacker than they are, let's hope I am, but he won't be back for a fortnight and so I am unhappy and nervous. I can't tell why he should be cross with me, perhaps because of the Ball, but after all he said I could go.

I keep wondering why he should have left so early without saying goodbye.

The Hoffmanns gave me a ticket for the Venetian evening tonight. But I am not going. I am much too sad.



11 March, 1935

I only wish one thing: to fall so ill that I won't be able to bother with him for at least a week. Why does nothing happen to me, why do I have to suffer so much? If only I had never met him. I am quite desperate. I am buying myself sleeping draughts again so that I can get myself into a semi-trance and don't have to brood so much.

If only the devil would take me. With him I would be much better off than up here.

I waited outside the Carlton for 3 hours and had to look on while he bought flowers for Ondra, and asked her out for dinner. (Insane imaginings -- 26 March.)

He only needs me for certain things, that's all it can be. (Nonsense.)

When he says he loves me, he means just at that moment. Like all his promises, none of which he ever keeps.

Why does he keep torturing me instead of putting an end to it all?



16 March, 1935

He is off to Berlin again. If only I didn't get so upset whenever I see him less than I normally do. It's really quite obvious that he can't have so much time for me now that he is so busy with politics.

I am going to the Zugspitze with Gretel and hope that my mood will blow over.

Everything has always turned out well in the end and it's bound to again. I just have to be patient.



1 April, 1935

Last night he invited us to dinner in the Vier Jahrezeiten. I had to sit next to him for 3 hours and couldn't exchange a single word with him. On leaving he simply handed me an envelope with money, as he had done once before. How nice it would have been if he had added his regards or a kind word, I would have been so happy. But then he never thinks of such things.

Why doesn't he go for dinner to the Hoffmanns', then at least I would have him to myself for a few minutes? I only wish that he doesn't come back before his apartment is ready.



29 April, 1935

I am poorly. Very poorly indeed. In every respect. I keep singing Things Will Soon Be Better, freely, after Louis, but it doesn't help.

His apartment is ready but I am not allowed to visit him. Love seems to be no part of his programme at the moment. Now that he is back in Berlin, I am relaxing a bit. But there were a few days last week when I cried my eyes out every night. The more so as I had to spend Easter all by myself.

I keep saving and scraping and am getting on everyone's nerves what with trying to sell every scrap I own starting with my dresses and my camera down to theatre tickets.

But things will soon be better, my debts aren't that big after all.



10 May, 1935

As Frau Hoffmann told me so kindly and tactlessly, he now has a substitute for me. She is called Valküre and looks like one, including her legs. But that's the size of woman he likes, and he's bound to worry her so much that she'll grow thin as a rake, unless she has Charly's talent for putting on weight with misery. With Charly trouble stimulates the appetite.

If Frau Hoffmann is right then it is quite unforgivable of him not to tell me.

After all he ought to know me well enough to realise that I would put nothing in his way if he suddenly discovered that his heart belonged to another. He doesn't care about what happens to me in any case.

I shall wait until the 3rd June when it will be a quarter of a year since our last meetings and then I'm going to ask for an explanation. Let anyone say that I ask for too much.

The weather is so beautiful and I, the sweetheart of the greatest man in Germany and on earth, just keep sitting here and all I can do is watch the sun through the window.

That he should be so lacking in insight to allow me to keep bowing and scraping to strangers!

But man proposes ..... and so on.

And as we make our beds .....

After all it is my fault, though one likes blaming such things on others.

This fast will soon be over and then the food will taste all the better.

But what a pity that it's Spring right now.



28 May, 35

I have just sent him a decisive letter. I wonder if he will sit up and take notice?

Well, we shall see.

If I don't receive a reply by 10 o'clock tonight I shall swallow 25 pills and gently fall asleep.

Is this the passionate love he has so often sworn me, when he won't send me one kind word for 3 months.

True his head is full of political problems but hasn't there been a respite? And what happened last year? Didn't he have lots of bother with Röhm and Italy, and still he found time for me.

I know I can't really judge whether the present situation is not much more trying for him, but it's not asking too much to expect him to leave word with the Hoffmanns or with someone else.

I am afraid something else is behind it all.

I am not to blame. Certainly not.

Perhaps another woman, though not that girl Valkyrie, she would be quite impossible, but there are so many others.

What other reason could there be? I can't think of any.



28 May, 1935

Dear Lord, I am afraid he won't answer today. If only someone would help me, everything is so terrible and hopeless.

Perhaps my letter reached him at the wrong moment. Perhaps I oughtn't to have written at all.

Whatever happens, uncertainty is more unbearable than a sudden end.

Dear Lord, help me, let me speak to him this day, tomorrow will be too late.

I have decided on 35 pills, this time I want to make dead certain.

If only he would ring me.

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Post by Eva » 09 Jan 2004 01:05

It is important to note that the transcription above comes from 22 hand written pages found after the war. These pages were ripped from Eva's diary by her sister, Ilse, after finding Eva unconsious from an overdose of vanodorm on 25 May 1935. Ilse removed the pages lest they be discovered and expose her sister's state of mind to Hitler (who might frown upon the suicide attempt and end the affair). Ilse was also responsible for having her sister's suicide attempt written off as "excessive fatigue" by the doctor she worked for, Jewish gentleman named Marx (who later escaped Germany). These pages were later returned to Eva after the incident and surfaced after the war. Ilse Braun authenticated the entries and the handwriting as belonging to Eva.
There was another supposed diary published years after the war which was a fraud. Most of the text of this 'diary' was lifted straight from the pages of a book by Countess Larisch-Wallersee about the love affair between Archduke Rudolf of Hapsburg and Maria Vetsera. The manuscript was copied verbatim with inly the manes cahnges; Archduke Rudolf became Hitler, Maria became Eva Braun, Archduke Otto was transposed to Streicher and Metternich became Ribbentrop. (source: Nerin E. Gun Hitler's Mistress )

Eva

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Helly Angel
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Post by Helly Angel » 09 Jan 2004 01:31

Thanks Eva,

I was thinking in you when I posted this valious information.

All the best and thank you for sharing,

Helly

Boby
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Post by Boby » 20 May 2006 18:02

Hello!

I read that the diary entries from 6 February to 28 May 1935 were faking by Eva Braun. According to David Irving, Braun friend Frau Marion Schönmann corroborated this falsification (Source: David Irving The war path, FPP 2003, p. 475)

Any have more info?

Boby, :D

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Post by Annelie » 21 May 2006 11:18

What would be the purpose for faking such entries for Eva Braun's diary?

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Post by mjölnir » 22 May 2006 14:09

In his book "Hitlers Liste" wrote Joachimsthaler,he think that the diary is false. He compared the writing style of the diary with Eva Braun's style in mid 30's. I will look closer in this chapter of his book and will scan the compared pages.
mjölnir

Boby
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Post by Boby » 22 May 2006 15:02

Thanks Mjölnir. BTW, what was the content of Joachimsthaler book? any version in English? :)

Regards
Boby,

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Post by mjölnir » 22 May 2006 15:35

Hello Boby!
Joachimsthaler's book is about Hitler's list for his presents to "good old Friends", like Eva Braun, Leni Riefenstahl, Helene Hofmann, Mrs. Bechstein and other men and women of Hitler's "friends", if I can say "friends". Joachimsthaler described in short bios the life of this "friends" and the relationship to Hitler. He also wrote about Hitlers first female friends like Stephanie and Geli Raubal.
I don't know about an english edition of this book.
mjölnir

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Post by swordofthelord » 16 Aug 2006 17:31

Annelie, I think the reason some feel the diary is faked is because with so many anti-Hitler historians out there they wanted to paint a solid picture of him making everyone unhappy. I think those (Irving) who believe it to be faked bring up valid points that I would like to read more about. I have read that several "diaries" were made (faked) post war to bolster the accepted story of the war and Hitler. It seems to be a minefield out there with this stuff.

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Great

Post by RedBarDragon » 24 Nov 2006 00:04

Thank you for this thing. I really appreciate!

montreal707
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Eva Braun Diary: The Real One!

Post by montreal707 » 03 Sep 2007 21:32

photo of first page of EB diary courtesy of NARA. Enjoy!

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Evas Diary (retry)

Post by montreal707 » 03 Sep 2007 21:33

Here we go again; hope this posts. First page of Eva's Diary, courtesy of NARA.
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Post by Gianni Lepri » 29 Oct 2007 12:46

Still accroding to Irwing, the bunch of the diary and some more EB/Hitler correspondence was acquired by the CIC team of Colonel
Robert A. Gutierrez, based in Stuttgart Backnang in the summer of 1945.
Anyone knowing moe on this ?

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Eva Braun Diary

Post by montreal707 » 29 Oct 2007 18:23

Yes, Guttierez was the CIC officer in charge of EB and AH items recovered from the possession of SS Officer Franz Konrad. There were several photo albums in blue leather marked EB, apparently not the ones in NARA today. The ones in NARA came partially from Herta Schneider, some from the Berghof by our troops and CIC men. Other items, so I am told by David Irvings Action website in a summary of NARA CIC files (which I went to go see, and NARA does not have a listing of them, nor does it know who Guttierez was, so my suspicion is that file has been removed, or Irving made it up (both real possibilities). But the bottom line is that Guttierez' cache from Konrad had albums, Hitler's pants, love letters written on air mail stationary to and from AH to EB, and other trinkets associated with their relationship. This stuff was taken to the US and never seen again, according to Irving. Irving tracked down Guttierez and came to the conclusion that Guttierez, who later became a CIA operative, had destroyed the love letters and probably sold the other items to collectors over the years. Guttierez claimed to have been a born-again Christian and didn't want to humanize Hitler. Guttierez son is alive, but his father is dead. Guttierez is a prominent Senator, or was, in New Mexico. If the letters exist, they are worth millions. No doubt they are in the hands of some wealthy private collector down south, where the bulk of Nazi relics remain, and won't be seen for a hundred years. As far as the diaries are concerned, to the best of my knowledge they were handed over, rather than found, but I'm not sure by who. My guess is that it was the Braun family that turned the diaries over. As I noted, I don't believe that the diary is in Eva's handwriting. Some of the words and events may be hers, but I believe it was copied from her original diary, perhaps not verbatim, in an attempt to generate sympathy for Eva and the Braun family in the days after the war. Attached is a sample of Eva's handwriting. You can compare both samples and see for yourself that they do not match.
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Post by Annelie » 04 Nov 2007 23:04

As I noted, I don't believe that the diary is in Eva's handwriting. Some of the words and events may be hers, but I believe it was copied from her original diary, perhaps not verbatim, in an attempt to generate sympathy for Eva and the Braun family in the days after the war. Attached is a sample of Eva's handwriting. You can compare both samples and see for yourself that they do not match.
Handwriting does change over the years.....at least mine has.

I suppose it does have the desired effect if it is as you feel
not hers.

After reading the entries one cannot help but feel sad for EB. Her whole
life seemed to be wrapped around Hitler. Sad how some peoples
need to be loved will put them through a lot of pain.

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